Bumble Fuck #2

Nickname: Fuck Boy
Age: 32
Height: 6'3''
Weight: Sexy arms 
Education: I'm not sure, but I think Bachelor's in Business
Meeting Platform: Bumble
Dick Size: Dead Average

You Really Shouldn't Fuck on the First Date

Welcome back to this Single Bitch's retarded dating life. As you might have guessed, it did not work out with candidate numero dos. Don't worry, I'll give you all the juicy details, but I'm just not sure I'll go about it in the same way as I did Doug Funnie - the star of my previous post. The reason being is because the reasons I ended it with these guys are very different; Doug Funnie was a fat loser slob, and Fuck boy was just that... a fuck boy, and one that I, admittedly, liked. If I were to talk about us date by date I'm afraid this would be a somewhat boring post; things were really nice with Fuck Boy at first. So I'll give you the highlights then explain why he had to go. 

I went out with this guy four times in a two/three week period... he was cool, confident, and definitely boneable.

The first date was chill. I went to his house and we watched March Madness on his couch and drank shitty beer. We had decent conversation... and I realized he was incredibly sexy. So we fucked that night... honestly it was just okay. I remember being more 'in charge' and doing most of the work... this is fine, but I really like a guy who makes me his little slave in the bedroom. I will say, it lasted forever because of his liquor dick, and I didn't complain. He wasn't able to cum though, so after we fell asleep from exhaustion, we got up in the middle of the night to finish the job. 

And what happened next is the real reason you should never fuck someone on the first date. 

I'm not going to lie, when you fuck someone for the first time, it really isn't all that intimate. Intimacy during sex comes later after you've been dating a while and catch some feelings... but when someone cuddles you all night... that means something, even if it's on the first night. At least, it does to me. And that's what happened. Fuck boy held me in his arms all night... and even though I struggled sleeping with his steady snoring in my ear, it was worth it... Isn't that shit depressing? 

So, needless to say, I was in trouble. But I also didn't expect to hear from him the next day, as that's how these things sometimes go... but nigga had plans with me the consecutive night, and despite our drunken evening and his long day in the sun playing golf, he kept our plans. Around 3 o'clock that day I felt like I should give him an "out". Being a daughter of an avid golfer, I know that when you're out on the course drinking all day in the sun, all you want is your bed when you get home. So I asked him if he wanted to do it another day, and the dipshit said no.

The reason I'm calling him a dipshit is because he should have fucking taken the 'out'. I'm sure the reason he didn't is so he could have sex again... but what he didn't know, was that my vagina was crying tears of blood since he fucked me the night before. 

If You're Tired, Reschedule

So I got to his house and it was apparent this nigga was exhausted. He was sprawled out on his couch watching mother fucking march madness again barely alive enough to make conversation. In about an hours' time, we went to his bedroom where he fell asleep in about 15 minutes. 

So it's 10:30 on a Saturday night and your Single Bitch is looking slutty as fuck in a man's bed who is passed out snoring on her face... I had to go. 

I left after about 20 minutes of thinking how I could get him off of me without waking him up - and failed miserably as I headed towards the door. I kissed him goodbye because I'm a sweet mother fucker, then left his house feeling weird and awkward as hell. 

I really contemplated never seeing him again that night. I mean, how are you going to have plans with someone to then invite them to your house to sleep on the SECOND date. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about the lazy nights doing nothing... but on the second time I'm meeting someone, a little more effort needs to be put in place. But for some reason, I wanted to see him again.

I really don't know why. The first two times I met him I wasn't overly impressed. I think, in hindsight, it was how his life was together, and how he didn't need me to complete him. He also had his own friends and was decently charismatic. But he never asked me a single question about myself... it seemed like he had no interest in getting to know me, it was more about him needing me to be his cheerleader or something... I don't know. 

That Night I Caught Some Feelings

So we talked a bit for the next few days about seeing each other again. I think he realized he should take me out properly so we planned on going out to a bar near his house. This night was probably my favorite. We had a couple beers (super strong ones) and talked for a few hours about his family, his work, and his social life... see a pattern? 

The whole night we talked about him.

And again, please don't get me wrong. I do NOT need or even want to talk about myself, but I find it strange and concerning that he didn't ask me a single thing. It was a red flag that maybe he was more of a taker in a relationship than a giver, and I've had enough of those in my life... I don't need to go down that road again. 

But it really was an amazing night, and that's what makes this hard for me. We left the bar and got back to his house, spoke more in his kitchen, and I think even slow danced at one point. This guy really knew what he was doing. lol.

We had sex again that night, this time I know I didn't do that much work because I honestly can barely remember what happened. But he did cuddle me again all night, that I remember. 

By this point, your Single Bitch was really feeling this Fuck Boy. It seemed like he was really into me, and shit... I was really into him. 

Something he said that night was that he deleted all of his dating applications. I think he said he was just tired of them and didn't like them... but I think he was trying to manipulate me, thinking back on it. Like, maybe he was telling me that so I would let my guard down. And I did. ugh.

How You Know I am so Not Ready to Date

After that night together I was pretty damn interested. My everyday thoughts were pretty consumed with replaying our date, and I stopped giving attention to the other guys I was talking to on Bumble, which is probably my second big mistake in this whole thing (the first mistake was giving him a second chance after our second date). 

The reason this was a mistake was because my focus was now only on one person. I put this one guy in charge of how successful my new dating life was going; how fucking pathetic. 

So, of course, without anyone else grabbing my attention, I started getting weird and annoying to myself about Fuck Boy. I hated it. I would sit by my phone, maybe even reread text messages, just waiting for a response. It was disgusting. 

By Tuesday I was becoming impatient. I thought maybe I scared him off a little by my transparency. I told him that I wasn't fucking or meeting anyone else, just him. I'd say this was my third big mistake; the sheer honesty. By telling him the truth that I had stopped entertaining other men, I gave him all of my playing cards. Of course, I didn't know we were playing a game, but hey - another learning experience, right? 

So Tuesday I met with my GBF and he advised me to take matters into my own hands. He said, if I want something, go get it. So I reached out to Fuck Boy and asked to see him that night, he agreed. 

One of the Most Humiliating Nights of My Life

I got to his house and the plan was to HBO & chill. I'm guessing, if you're reading this, you're probably a millennial (or close to) and know that HBO & chill, or Netflix & chill, basically mean that HBO or Netflix will be on the TV while you and your partner fool around. I mean, it's common knowledge. 

But guess what? 

We actually watched what we said we would. Fucking weird? Yeah, I thought so too. 

We did do a bit of cuddling which was nice, but Fuck Boy had a willing and able young girl in his bed and didn't try anything. Silly me thought "maybe he values you and is taking things slow". Now I think he was trying to gain control over our short relationship. 

Why do I think this? Well here's the embarrassing part: At around 10:00 pm he looks at me and says "So, were you planning on staying(the night)?"

This is a loaded fucking question, and I didn't expect it. Having stayed over at his house two times prior, I really didn't consider I wasn't invited a third time, so I replied with: "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....sure if that's okay?"

He says: "Actually, I was really wanting to sleep alone tonight."

What the fuck.

Who says that shit?

It's like he said, hey... were you planning on staying over? yeah? well, that's cute, you have to go. 

It was God Damn humiliating. I felt like such an asshole. And I feel like he did that shit to play games... like, he only asked me to see where my head was so he could shut me down and be in control. Creepy man. 

What kept me on the hook was, as I was sprinting the hell out of there, when he asked to see me again Friday. I was taken aback as I was pretty sure I was in the middle of being asked to leave his house... so I said yes. Then he kissed me good night.

And I feel like I have to clarify my thoughts: I didn't feel like shit because he wanted to be alone that night, I felt like shit because of the way he asked me to leave.

And honestly, if it were me, I would have wanted him to stay. I would want him to fuck me and then stay if he wanted, or not stay if he wanted. Either way, I know for sure I would have wanted some sex. It just made me (and still makes me) feel really bad about myself. 

It reminds me of someone else I dated who did control shit like this. This other guy was a bit more obvious, but the same principles were there. He wanted to control when I was or was not naked and he wanted to control how much we showed each other affection... like everything was on his terms and I wasn't allowed to have a say in anything... The result was very similar too: I felt a little inadequate and also on the hook. It's like these guys want you to think you're lucky to be with them or around them when really they're just trying to mind fuck you and put you on their squad of sluts.

But NOT today I say! lol. Not Today!

So after this very strange evening, I was most definitely on the hook. I was on the hook because I felt like I needed to prove myself to him, but I was also on the hook because of how horny I've been since I've been without regular sex. 

By the way, I'm really trying to be transparent here and I hope you fucks appreciate that. These are embarrassing admissions, but I think this world lacks honesty, and I'm sure you can relate... at least, I hope you can.

Anyway.

After that night we had tentative plans to go running that Friday. I say they are tentative because he said: "I'll think about it." Even though seeing me was his idea in the first place. Like I said, controlling and manipulative mother fucker.

So by Thursday, I still hadn't heard his decision, and I was driving to school and suddenly realized something: I had not made plans with my friends for the off chance that he might suddenly reach out to me.

What the fucking fuck is my problem.

How am I just going to make myself THAT available to this guy? Especially when the feelings are not reciprocated. 

So thankfully after that realization, I filled up my weekend with plans. I was not about to wait around to be wanted by someone who clearly had lost interest.

That night he and I talked a little, mainly me telling him to come to my house and fuck me... momma needs her sugar guys, I'm sorry. 

Of course, he declined and we still didn't have plans for the next day, so I assumed it wouldn't happen.

Around 3 or 4 that Friday, the day we talked about potentially running together, Fuck Boy said it wasn't going to happen. I wasn't surprised by this, but I tried to still make myself available for doing something else with him. I thought he should be the one to ask to see me, as I initiated the previous meet and also as he's the one who didn't want to go running.

At this point, I was definitely feeling like the puller in the relationship... the one trying to make it happen. This is not something a girl should feel this soon into things. 

So with this feeling, I started to get my head together. I have this rule... don't chase men. If a guy is really interested in you, he will do anything he can to see you and make it happen. So I knew this was doomed.

At the last minute on Friday, my friends mentioned they were all headed to a local brewery and asked me along. I would be one of twenty people going so it wasn't like it was a huge loss if I didn't go... so when Fuck Boy reached out to me to hang out not long after those plans were made, I considered it. Another huge mistake. Do not make yourself available at the last minute. Don't do it!

He said:
"Want to come to my house to get drunk?"

Or something along those lines.

I said

"Actually, I have plans to go to a brewery with my friends... should I bail?"

Immediately Fuck Boy responds with:

"Hahaha I've just been invited to this bar, I'm going."

What a fucking dickhead.

Bitch did it again.

He asked me something to see if I would say yes, and when I did he made himself unavailable. What a god damn assfuck. 

By this point, I really couldn't lie to myself anymore about the kind of person this guy was. I really wanted to believe that he was authentic in dealing with me, but after a couple subtle mind games, I couldn't tolerate it anymore.

It was really hard, but the next day I just told him I was done... and didn't want to talk anymore.

Whew that was a lot.

Honestly, I might look back on this post in a month or so and be like... what the fuck is wrong with you? This guy didn't do anything wrong and you're an asshole. But right now, I really feel like it was the right thing. If not for him being a dick, for me becoming obsessive and enthralled with the idea of being with him, it was gross and it was pathetic. 

And you know how I know for sure it was the right decision? Fuck Boy did not respond to my breakup text. He could have been like..."Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Please reach out if you change your mind."

But no. I got nothing.

I think one reason might be because he's not used to being rejected... he's a fucking player and fucks a lot of girls, why would he spend his time going after one?

Anyway... this is pretty much the end of this story.

This one definitely affected me more than Doug's. I actually like this guy... and it's hard enough for me to break it off with people I don't like, even though I know I should be treated better.

Well, that shit is over now, so let's move on. I've been talking to a few guys here and there since, but I've made no plans yet. My goal is to have a date for Saturday if only to get my mind off of Fuck Boy. 

But don't worry, I'm sure some crazy bullshit will happen soon and I'll write it down. Thanks again for reading... wish me luck that I don't text him in the middle of the night asking for forgiveness hahahahaha! 

Until next time.